wounded warrior
With the recent super-moon there have come some very important shifts both in my life and in the world around me. I know that this rings true for more than just myself. So many people in my life are going through major transitions and really struggling to understand why!?
Super moon energy is extremely powerful and with it comes change. Uncomfortable change.
My life has seemingly been many cycles of change and transition for almost the better part of a year. I feel like 28 has been mostly a blur and I will be 29 in two weeks! I need to get my butt in gear and make the most of these two weeks!
My ongoing journey with Breast Implant Illness really has given me a new lease on life. It lead me to a new career path that I’m extremely passionate about - Health Coaching. It’s given me a huge, loving supportive community and many friendships that I will always treasure. It’s shown me who is actually with me when things get tough. It’s taught me how to love myself so I don’t rely on anyone to do it for me. It’s released me from so many of my limiting beliefs. It’s given me the ability to help others. There really are endless ways that this journey has blessed me. Gratitude. I have so much gratitude!
My decision to get breast implants was always for myself. Always. But my insecurities stemmed from the infidelity in my marriage. I couldn’t cope with my husband looking at other women without me thinking that I was the problem. I modified my body for attention, the attention of my husband. I should have saved myself then but I chose not to. Instead I chose this path - and I’m glad that I did. This is what was meant to be. This fight for my life has been so empowering albeit terrifying. The climb back to the top isn’t easy but it’s worth it!
My husband and I decided in February to spiritually separate and work on ourselves as individuals. I had let his infidelity change who I was. I spent the better part of last summer hunting these women down and ruining their lives - the way I had felt they ruined mine. It’s not something that I’m proud of but it’s my truth to own. From that low point there has only been growth.
These past five months have been really productive in personal growth for both of us but alas we’ve reached a crossroad. We are very different people than we once were. No one ever stays the same. But we’ve realized that much of our marriage was built on false pretences and unrealistic expectations - like most marriages. Now we are left to decide if moving forward together to find a new normal is even something that we both want. The love that we share for our family trumps all else and walking this health journey together brought us a greater understanding of that. I can only be grateful.
I do not know what the future holds for me, let alone any of the relationships in my life - and that’s ok! I’m learning to find peace in the chaos.
I’m learning that being alone is sometimes necessary. I learning that it’s ok to let go. That letting go of what no longer serves me isn’t admitting defeat.
It’s time for this wounded warrior to lay down her sword. I’m done with the defensive energy. This shift brought with it incredible opportunity for healing. The shift from the Wounded Warrior to the Divine Goddess is long overdue.
Namaste.
“I am releasing the Wounded Warrior. I am the Divine Goddess.”
